The Tweet That Caused Twitter to Remove My Blue Tick Verification and Ban Me
My band had been on Twitter for several years before we were accepted into that rarefied community of users with a blue verification tick next to their Twitter handle. For the uninitiated, Twitter bestows blue ticks upon accounts it deems as legitimately representing a person or company. It separates the parody accounts from the bona fide celebrities; the satire from the established brands. For example:
But our verification left us in an interesting and potentially unprecedented position, because our band’s name is Jackie Onassis.
Yes, we really are Jackie Onassis, the band. But no, we really are not the woman who inspired our band name – Jackie Onassis, formerly known as Jackie Kennedy, the wife of assassinated US president JFK. She passed away in 1994.
In general I am a pretty big fan of having some good times online, and so are my friends.
So the choice was to further promote the burgeoning career of my band, or represent ourself as the legitimate account of the deceased former first lady of the Land of the Free.
So we changed our bio from “Sydney based hip-hop duo and members of One Day” to “Former First Lady of the United States of America” and went pro-communism.
Everything was going swimmingly, the glorious worker’s revolution was immanent, until Jackie started getting a little too much attention thanks to this tweet:
This tweet itself wasn’t so much of an issue, but the fact that a verified ghost was unleashing on capitalism led to some in the Twitter world to take a look at a few of our earlier, perhaps slightly more avant-garde tweets. There was one in particular that caused a bit of a stir:
Some of the more prudish residents of Twitterland weren’t so onboard with Jackie’s message. Around 50 snitches started tagging @twitter, @support or @verified
But things really took a bit of a turn when the apparently anti-PC, freedom-of-speech loving Alt-Right got involved, thanks to a Breitbart ““journalist”” who hates the First Amendment of her own constitution.
Ariana set her frog loving NEET Army onto poor old Jackie, until their incessant crying to the Twitter Police finally paid off.
RIP Jackie Onassis (again).
And so we bid Twitter farewell, but to all you Alt Righters out there, let it be known: